literally had 100 drinks last night.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
