I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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