Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
