Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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