I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
