Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
