He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize