my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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