vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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