i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
