y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
