Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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