I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
