yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
