Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
