Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
