Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
