so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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