@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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