I hate all girls vehemently.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
