I want to walk on stilts...naked
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
