Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
