it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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