Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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