Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
