this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Randomize