I think I won the penis lottery.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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