how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize