If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
