Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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