I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
