My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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