Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize