She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
