My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
