No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
two words...techno handjob
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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