D3 body, D1 cock
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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