i need an iv and a liver transplant
handjob tips. give me some.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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