You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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