Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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