Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
