so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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