I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
