You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
