Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
