They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
