dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
