I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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