I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I think people are normalizing furries
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
