her vagine was all disorganized.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
