So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I look better un-naked...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
