my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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