I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
