Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
