our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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