i don't like sucking hair
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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