life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize