Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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