I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
this will be a night to untag.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
