i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
